Updated: Nov 18, 2021
Ive really been sitting with myself lately and in mental exploration ive deeply been thinking about the question what is love? Ive meditated on this question, that is so broad and ive allowed myself to be open to observing the people around me that love me and I have also watched them "love" others. Ive engaged in dialogue and I've encountered many opinions and the most common thing I noticed is when the conversation on love gets started it always involves, what love is NOT. I also have noticed that there are groups of people that can be defined as the logical lovers, those that believe it should make sense, that it needs to look good on paper, then you have those that believe love is a choice, that you connect and you "choose" to love the connection or not, and the choice involves making the "right" investment into the party involved or parties involved for their benefit and comfort. Then we have those that believe love is emotions, feelings, chemistry, and romance, free flowing and out of our control. Some people believe love is verb, that it is shown, a state of being. Have you experienced love in any of these capacities? Do you believe love exist and if it does, how does it show up in your life? Do you believe that love is always mutual? Do you love platonic friends, family, children and lovers from the same heart? from the same space? I believe love is one of those gems that has no isolated definition. There is no one size fits all for any 2 situations or lifestyles. Some people love instantaneously, others take their time and may never fully open up or take years to open up. Whose to say which is right. There is no right or wrong in our evaluating another's experience in love. Maybe healthy and unhealthy or complicated and uncomplicated but not necessarily right or wrong. I remember some years ago I met a man on a plane and he told me about his love experience and lifestyle with his wife, he said he loved to argue with her and at times picked fights, small petty fights because he loved making up and guess what she did as well. Some would say this is toxic, I feel its passionate, maybe even childlike, they were married 20 years at that time and he barely looked 30. Ive known people to adopt children and commit and raise them as their own with no pat on the back; is that love? or is that simply dedication? commitment? Does there have to be a commitment to be love? It is important to understand that the reality is that it is all of these components plus more. Love has phases, stages and at times changes depending on the individuals involved, obstacles conquered, years and mutuality, it can and will look imperfect and confusing to outsiders that are not involved, romantic love that is, all love is unique, some love fades and has a strong beginning and still can end. Take some time today to evaluate the love you give and receive on a daily basis and how it has helped shape you into the person you are at this very moment. Do you need a new template for how you show up for love? Today is a new day to take a moment and redefine what love means to you. Love for me varies person to person, love is present and I welcome it freely. I hope you do the same as well.